How to Be Cool and Play Off that Furry Porn You Forgot Was on Your Phone

by Patch O'Furr

@SpotlessEnvy saw my Onion-style headline and suggested writing the article. I asked if they wanted to try it as a guest post. Here it is, with the extra fabulous bonus of illustrations made by Spotless.  Check them out for art commissions. – Patch

Unfortunately, it’s a common awkward moment in the day of the smartphone. You hand your phone to a friend, family member, coworker, etc. to show them your vacation photos, the 87 pictures of your dog you took this morning, 2007’s embarrassing Halloween costume or the like, and despite your pleading scream of, “Don’t swipe!” they swipe. In the fandom, what’s the worst thing for them to find on your phone?

How to Be Cool and Play Off that Furry Porn You Forgot Was on Your Phone:

1. I got this phone on Craigslist

Hey, buying gently used electronics off Craigslist, eBay, Amazon, and the like is fairly common these days. Just explain that you didn’t think to clear the memory before using it. “Don’t worry Mom, I’m not a sexual deviant; the person I bought the phone from was!”

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