5 dirty things furries do
by Patch O'Furr
Bear with me, I’m going to mention that old CSI episode “Fur and Loathing” again. Few media portrayals have upset furry fandom so much. A fiction show about murder should get a license to exaggerate for entertainment, but the public somehow took it as a documentary. It made impressions that a furry convention for good natured nerd stuff, like drawing cartoons and getting dinner with friends, is a weekend long furpile for sex-mad fetishists. Other sensational media was even more responsible for spreading the impression. Of course to be fair, so are some furries.
Fursuit Modded With Power To Pull Bad Dragon Products Into Tailhole From 25 Yards Away— Dogpatch Clickbait (@DogpatchNewsBot) February 12, 2018
This was on my mind when I found a thread about Fay V’s worst convention ever. It’s a wild trip with 78 tweets about eldritch horror pudding and orgies.
Alright, I'll open this up to followers in general because this is a really fun story.— Fay V (@FayVFox) February 12, 2018
My worst con experience EVER! (1) https://t.co/wVxCaGDYur
With that in mind, here are some of the more unusual kinks among furries, which I’m totally not making up at all.
- Vore and Rooting
Vorarephilia is a fantasy interest in having one character consume another. Rooting is where a character like a snake goes in one entrance and out another at the same time.
The infamous “elevator incident” at ConFurence 8 (all the way back in 1997) memorialized this scandalous behavior. A con-goer was disturbed by a mysterious ectoplasmic substance that migrated from an elevator wall to his pants leg. Witnesses who were trusted as non-gossipers swore up and down that it was exactly what you’re thinking of. It was variously explained as mayonnaise, moisture from bathing suits from a hot tub next to the elevator, or a sneeze:
Never having heard the actual complaints (despite being on staff) I suspect part of this may have been my fault. I was fighting a head cold the first day of the con. Staggering up to my room lay down for a couple hours I sneezed QUITE messily in one of the elevators. By the time I found something to clean it up with and got back to the elevator the hotel staff (?) had taken care of the mess. – Rivercoon
- Elevator hookup
Get in an elevator at a con and ask if anyone wants a hug. If a hug keeps going until it gets to your floor, ask if they wanna get off with you (wink!) It’s a way to have a contest – the fewer floors it takes, the better the score. Now you know what to blame for elevator lines.
- Davy Crockett Style
Wearing a raccoon’s ass for a hat.
- Weaseling and Double Weaseling
That’s when one furry puts on another’s fursuit for yiffing with a partner who doesn’t know. (Obviously it requires implied consent from freaky furries who will just laugh about it). A less typical situation is when a target furry catches on to the plan and secretly switches places with another, so both partners are in the wrong fursuit. That’s Double Weaseling. A Weasel Party is when a whole group of furries switch suits at the same time.
Besides being freaky deaky like you saw on the CSI documentary – and definitely not creative fans who share art and encourage each other to express playful sides of their personalities in innocent and joyful ways – furries also enjoy telling totally ridiculous stories. With that in mind, enjoy the below.
Challenging myths about furries and sex. pic.twitter.com/94e1Mxrjl2— VICE Canada (@vicecanada) February 1, 2018
Like the article? It takes a lot of effort to share these. Please consider supporting Dogpatch Press on Patreon. You can access exclusive stuff for just $1, or get Con*Tact Caffeine Soap as a reward. They’re a popular furry business seen in dealer dens. Be an extra-perky patron – or just order direct from Con*Tact.