Opinion | Dogpatch Press

November 25, 2015

Atta; A Novel of a Most Extraordinary Adventure, by F.R. Bellamy – Book Review By Fred Patten.

by Patch O'Furr

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

“Here is another of my reviews that was published ten years ago, edited in a manner that I didn’t like. This is my original review, so it’s a bit different from the printed version.”

Atta; A Novel of a Most Extraordinary Adventure, by Francis Rufus Bellamy.
NYC, A. A. Wyn, Inc., September 1953, hardcover $3.00 (216 pages).

“It is with a singular bitterness that I begin this memoir of my youth.

Here at my table, west of the Mississippi, I can turn in my chair and gaze out my window at sixty acres of green hillside, orchard, and valley. They are the actual scene of the greater part of the adventures I am about to relate, adventures for which I myself can vouch.” (pg. 1)

Two pages later the narrator, Brokell, says these events happened forty years previously. 1953 minus forty years would be 1913, which would explain why he was riding about the countryside in a horse-and-buggy, and why he writes in such an old-fashioned, formal style.

Brokell is waiting in a flowery meadow with a box of candy for his betrothed. She is late, and after a half-hour he notices that red ants are crawling all over the candy. Infuriated (“Darn you, anyhow!” I said aloud.”), he picks up a rock and starts smashing the ants. Suddenly:

“For scarcely had my missile left my grasp before I was conscious of a hitherto unseen dark mass in the sky above me. Even as my own missile left my hand this mass became instantly larger in size and rushed down at me and the earth.” (pg. 7)

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November 24, 2015

The Worst Anthropomorphic Movie of the Decade – by Fred Patten.

by Patch O'Furr

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

Let’s have a poll.

What is the worst anthropomorphic movie of the 2011 to 2020 decade? Theatrical or on DVD? Animation or live-action?

Let me start off by listing my choices for the five worst so far… and the decade isn’t even half over yet.

Food Fight! ([U.S.] Threshold Entertainment, May 7, 2013)

Food Fight! had a clever idea: license rights to several well-known anthropomorphic food logos like Chester Cheetah and Charlie the Tuna, and bring them to life in an animated supermarket mystery/comedy. Dex Dogtective, a fictional logo, investigates with everyone else as a supporting character. But the result, shall we say, lacked something. Like an interesting story. Like in-depth characterizations and attractive character designs. Like good CGI art. The producer spent almost a decade trying to get a theatrical release before giving up and going direct-to-DVD.

Foodfight!_DVD_cover

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November 20, 2015

James, the Connoisseur Cat and James, Fabulous Feline – Book reviews by Fred Patten.

by Patch O'Furr

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

James, the Connoisseur Cat, by Harriet Hahn.
NYC, St. Martin’s Press, October 1991, hardcover $13.95 (169 pages).

James, Fabulous Feline: Further Adventures of a Connoisseur Cat, by Harriet Hahn.
NYC, St. Martin’s Press, June 1993, hardcover $14.95 (199 pages).

This two-book set presents a whimsical set of adventures of a very British cat, more aristocratic than James-Bondian.

“I spend a lot of my time in England,” begins the nameless narrator, a traveling art expert. “My apartment in Baron’s Chambers, on Ryder Street, is my headquarters.”

[…]

“I felt wonderfully at home, and then I noticed something new. Sitting on the small table where one usually finds messages and brochures describing current exhibits and events sat what appeared at first glance to be a big, gray, short-haired cat. It was motionless and its eyes were closed, but even so, I felt the power of a rare personality.” (p. 1)

James never does talk, but he makes his feelings plain through pantomime, especially to the narrator.

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November 19, 2015

The Familiars, by Adam Jay Epstein & Andrew Jacobson – Book Review By Fred Patten.

by Patch O'Furr

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

The Familiars, by Adam Jay Epstein & Andrew Jacobson. Illustrations, map by Peter Chan & Kei Acedera.
NYC, Harper CollinsPublishers/Harper, September 2010, hardcover $16.99 (360 pages), Kindle $4.99.

The Familiars: Secrets of the Crown, by Adam Jay Epstein & Andrew Jacobson. Illustrations, map by P. Chan & K. Acedera.
NYC, Harper CollinsPublishers/Harper, September 2011, hardcover $16.99 (374 [+ 1] pages), Kindle $4.99.

The Familiars: Circle of Heroes, by Adam Jay Epstein & Andrew Jacobson. Illustrations by Greg Call; map by P. Chan & K. Acedera.
NYC, Harper CollinsPublishers/Harper, September 2012, hardcover $16.99 (327 pages), Kindle $4.99.

The Familiars: Palace of Dreams, by Adam Jay Epstein & Andrew Jacobson. Illustrations, map by Dave Phillips.
NYC, Harper CollinsPublishers/Harper, December 2013, hardcover $16.99 (323 pages), Kindle $6.99.

The Warriors series of talking feral cats by “Erin Hunter” is known to furry fandom, but most of the other anthropomorphic animal series for the 8- to 12-year-old market seems to be ignored, except when one of them is adapted into a CGI animated feature. The 15 The Guardians of Ga’hoole novels of anthropomorphized owls by Kathryn Lasky, which became the 2010 animated movie Legends of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’hoole by the Animal Logic studio and Warner Bros. distributor, is one example.

Here is another, maybe. The first novel in the four-book The Familiars series, published in 2011, announces “The Familiars will be produced for film by Sam Raimi and Sony Animation.” As of 2015, Sony says the film is still in development, although Sam Raimi no longer seems to be associated with it.

The series is aimed at 8- to 12-year-olds; the upper primary school grades. It is set in a magical world. The three familiars are Aldwyn, a young cat; Skylar, a girl blue jay; and Gilbert, a tree frog.

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November 18, 2015

Costume bans and security, part 2: A furry movie theater worker’s opinion.

by Patch O'Furr

Roz Gibson

This guest post is by a furry and usher for Cinemark, one of America’s largest theater chains. He asked not to be named for employment reasons.

He raised an international issue I didn’t think of in Part 1. France has had some high-profile riots and political violence. As a result, since 2011, the country has a law making it “illegal to wear a face-covering veil or other mask in public places”. It’s caused interesting enforcement, like banning costumes on Halloween. Comments wanted from French furries – has this affected anyone personally?

(UPDATE:) This article was completed on November 13, only hours before a mass shooting in France hit the news. Relevant detail: “Julien Pierce, a Europe 1 journalist… has described what he saw: ‘Several armed men came into the concert. Two or three men, not wearing masks…'” Fans watching the band “Eagles of Death Metal” were shot. It’s interesting how heavy metal and violent movies have been unfair scapegoats for moral panic in the past. Will it increase for costumers? From tiny conventions to large shows, let’s value culture and liberties. Let’s also send community sympathies to those affected in France.

– Patch

Guest opinion from a furry theater employee about costume bans.

For a second, I thought the US was considering a rule where costumes aren’t allowed anywhere except homes and conventions (kinda like what France is doing).

First off, I think the rule these theaters made are over-paranoid. I’ve taken a look at the 2012 Aurora Shooting (which started it all). Here are some important facts I noticed that I think Cinemark overlooked when they made this rule. (PLEASE NOTE: I got most info from wikipedia, so you may want to verify on your own.)

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November 16, 2015

Bad news for fans who plan to see highly anticipated movies in costume.

by Patch O'Furr

In March, Zootopia is going to bring all the furries!

Everywhere furries are, they’re talking about meets for Zootopia’s opening week. My area has a proposed meet (without even a location) and already 44 are signed up. At this rate, they’ll pack a whole theater of their own (and it’s being arranged.) Mention the idea, and without fail everyone loves it. Many want to go in fursuit. I won’t be surprised if furmeets makes headlines. I feel like this movie will bring Furry Fever like no other. Is this happening in your area, too?

Why go to the movies in costume? You’re just sitting in the dark. Well, for some it’s just a great excuse to celebrate a shared experience with fandom. (NOTE: There has been a lot of confusion about this. It doesn’t mean to wear a costume DURING the movie.)

Here’s a sign of the hype. In June, maker Crafty Critters went outside furry preference for all-original characters by making a Nick Wilde Cosplay fursuit. It appeared astonishingly early after Disney’s June 11 release of the Zootopia trailer – just in time for Anthrocon.

At Anthrocon. Nobody knows who the owner is.

Buzz kill – Theaters are getting paranoid about security and banning masks. (NOTE: the entire article was completed prior to tragedies in France.)
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November 13, 2015

Far-Seer, Fossil Hunter, and Foreigner, by Robert J. Sawyer – Book reviews by Fred Patten.

by Patch O'Furr

Here’s one for the scalies! Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer. Originally written for Quentin Long’s Anthro Magazine.

Far-Seer, by Robert J. Sawyer. Map by Dave Dow.
NYC, Ace Books, June 1992, paperback 0-441-22551-9 $4.99 ([6 +] 257 [+ 1] pages).

Fossil Hunter, by Robert J. Sawyer. Map by Dave Dow.
NYC, Ace Books, May 1993, paperback 0-441-24884-5 $4.99 ([6 +] 290 [+ 1] pages).

Foreigner, by Robert J. Sawyer. Map by Dave Dow.
NYC, Ace Books, March 1994, paperback 0-441-00017-7 $4.99 ([8 +] 285 [+ 1] pages).

Science fiction novels about talking dinosaurs are rare. Robert J. Sawyer’s Quintaglio Ascension trilogy is unique in making the dinosaurs the intelligent evolved descendants of Earth’s tyrannosaurs on an extra-solar planet where they have created their own civilization, which is about to end if they do not discover space flight soon and leave their doomed world.

Unlike other series that consist of a popular original novel followed by its sequels, Sawyer planned his Quintaglio novels as a series from the start. They may be considered as a single novel in three parts, then.

The Quintaglio Ascension was very popular. Far-Seer and Fossil Hunter won the HOMer Award in 1992 and 1993, on the Science Fiction and Fantasy Literature Forum on the CompuServe Information Service. All three were agreed in s-f discussion groups as deserving further awards, and Far-Seer was reprinted in hard covers by the Science Fiction Book Club. The Canadian Sawyer was invited as a Guest of Honor at ConFurence 8 in 1997 because of them (one of the themes of ConFurence 8 was “Reptiles”), and all three were reissued by Tor Books in 2004-’05.

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November 11, 2015

Guardian Cats and the Lost Books of Alexandria, by Rahma Krambo – Book Review By Fred Patten.

by Patch O'Furr

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

Guardian Cats and the Lost Books of Alexandria, by Rahma Krambo
Yuba City, CA, Reflected Light Books, July 2011, trade paperback $6.99 (261 pages), Kindle $2.99.

This is an attractive and easily-read fantasy for Young Adult and adult cat lovers, announced as the first in a series. It emphasizes “magical realism” rather than any s-f or fantasy nature. The animals can just talk, that’s all.

Marco is a pampered young housecat who learns to read when his human, young Lucy, leaves books out where he can get at them at night. Soon he is lost in what Lucy likes to read, which is Young Adult adventure and fantasy. The reader will recognize The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and The Three Musketeers. “In the wee hours of the night, Marco became a warrior, a wizard, a wanderer, but he was always the hero. When Marco read, he forgot he was a cat.” (p. 2) An emergency – the reader will recognize Lucy’s grandmother being rushed to a hospital – empties the house of humans. After a couple of days alone, Marco ventures outside.

Marco does not fare well as an urban feral cat. His wandering takes him to an old library full of so many wonderful books that he almost forgets his search for food. He is shy, and he avoids anyone until he comes to one room:

“Marco moved into the doorway. On a long table sat a cat. Not the same as the one in the window. This one, larger and silver-spotted, was hunched over a book. All around him were stacks of books, and he seemed not to notice anything except what he was reading. His tail, laid out to the side, quivered in annoyance.” (p. 18)

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November 9, 2015

The Stolen Guardian, by R. A. Meenan – Book Review By Fred Patten

by Patch O'Furr

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

The Stolen Guardian, by R. A. Meenan.
Los Angeles, CA, Starcrest Fox Press, October 2015, trade paperback $10.99 (430 pages), Kindle $1.99.

“Ouranos crept through the dense green forest, following an overgrown path leading toward the sea. He scratched the black fur under the short quills that topped his head and bent a catlike ear back with a frown, his bare, clawed feet padding noiselessly on the dirt. His simple red clothes, while appropriate for his royal status, made him feel too conspicuous against the green of the trees. He chanced a glance behind him.” (p. 9)

Ouranos is a quilar from the planet Zyearth. This first paragraph shows that The Stolen Guardian, Book One of The Zyearth Chronicles, isn’t set on Earth, and that the lead characters are furry but not based on any Earth-evolved animals.

With Chapter 2, though, we get a space patrol team, still not on Earth; the Zyearth Defenders (whose top agents are the Golden Guardians), and they are just funny animals in spiffy uniforms.

“A tall gray stag with silver antlers in velvet stood in front of Matt with a manic look on his face and a pistol aimed at Matt’s snout.” (p. 38) – “A white wolf with thin glasses and dark yellow eyes appeared in the hologram. His face looked worried at first, but immediately relaxed with relief. Matt allowed himself a smile. Lance Tox, Master Guardian of the Defenders. He’d normally never make personal calls, but Matt could tell he had been concerned.” (p. 67)

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November 6, 2015

It was so much fun to be in an outrageous Rap CD and a live comedy show!

by Patch O'Furr

You never know what Halloween will bring in San Francisco. You can tour an Erotic Haunted House based on “Dante’s Inferno”, at a landmark castle (used as a BDSM porn studio), full of circus performers ready to give an amazing show. That’s Hell In The Armory. It’s the only place around that has great job opportunities for evil masturbating clowns. I guess it’s a living in a dog-eat-dog economy, where workplaces are literally Hell.

It’s part of San Francisco’s lively scene of subcultural circus theater, avant-cabaret, and burlesque, that crosses over with comedy and music. If you’re bold enough to get a taste – soon you might be throwing your own ingredients into this strange, sexy mix of alternative media and shows.

That’s how I ended up in this rap video, wearing bling and drinking from the potty like a happy puppy dog. There’s no excuse, it just tasted so refreshing… Mmm! Here’s the story of MC Crumbsnatcher and his Nerdcore comedy rap with furries. (The naughty potty part is at 3:09). NSFW: