Dogpatch Press

Welcome to Kacey Pink, a trans lesbian writer of adult stories about transbodies and people overcoming adversity, trauma, and love finding a way. You can check out her novels here: pinkkacey.itch.io. Thanks to Kacey for her guest review of “a thoughtful story about love overcoming the programming of self hate”. The work of Rukis can be found here.

Spoiler Free HeartTheft Review

Rukis’s HeartTheft is two books: Covenant and Apocrypha, however when I heard about an 800 page hard cover of both books combined I felt an overwhelming urge to pick it up for myself. I am not terribly versed in Rukis’s work, besides having read one of the Red Lantern comics and having ogled their art for as long as I’ve considered myself “in the fandom”. However, this stands out to me as a very strong novel in its own right. My desire to grab up the book was solely because I knew that if it fell from a high shelf it might break a toe or two. I would like to see more of these long form books, unashamed to be dense and worthy of analysis as HeartTheft is. Did the story of HeartTheft require 806 pages to be effectively told? I am not confident in that. Am I endlessly grateful, however, that we get to spend so much time in this world and with these well constructed and lived in characters.

If part of your experience growing up was learning how you were lied to by people who wanted “better for you”, you’ll probably enjoy this book. If you can relate to a story about religious deconstruction that doesn’t condemn belief and earnestly tackles the pain and suffering organized religion has brought onto people, oftentimes those that are forced by the abuse they’ve suffered to cling to it, this is a good book for you. If you are fond of thought out world building and well measured applications of stakes and tension, this is a good book for you. If you are a fan of gender go third, sex go [redacted], you’ll probably also enjoy this.

Mystery and investigation don’t take a back seat, but the core of this novel is finding answers for yourself about what you believe in. Even if, but especially if, that’s hard to accept.

Family and love face long odds, but fighting for what’s right, fighting for who is right for you, is the only answer.

I prefer to give things # out of 5 scores based on how well they met my personal expectations. It’s all about if I feel they could be improved in some way, and not scoring them in a comparison of pieces to one another. As a result:

I have come to a 4.5 out of 5 for HeartTheft.

There is room for improvement in my opinion, the opening of the book doesn’t move as quick as I’d like, but overall the story is rather strong and the theme and character work is moving. Expect characters having to learn to believe in love. Yearning and learning. This is not a smut book for the hornies, it is a thoughtful story about love overcoming the programming of self hate. But there is, in fact, (spoilers) shameful jizzim.

The books are better together, read as one.

SPOILER HEAVY ANALYSIS TIME

Rukis constructs a believable fictional religion that pulls a lot of inspiration from historical Catholic imagery and deploys it in a thoughtful exploration and critique of the institution and practice of religion. Many characters in the novel represent views or beliefs about religion and the book is filled with all kinds of challenging conversations and representations. Malachi, Dolus, and of course our leads Isidor and Darcy represent important lenses through which Religion might affect a person’s life.

Dolus’s experience with religion is initially characterized, by Isidor’s ignorance of the man, as light and easy going. However, as we understand him better throughout the novel we come to learn that he is not trapped in the system or injured by it, like so many other characters within the novel. Dolus is not easy going. He is simply power drunk. He can be interpreted as The Evils of the ministry. He doesn’t care about corruption or sin, though he is comfortable using them as his own weapons. All he cares about is his own skin. He doesn’t offer compassion or comfort, nor divine retribution. Even though it is his greatest skill, he doesn’t punish sinners (if a thing called sin even exists). He feeds his own pleasures and ego by hurting any within his wake, simply because he has the power to do so. Obviously, his biggest foil is Father Halstrom, the inquisitor now retired. Halstrom is, in fact, the man who Dolus should have become when he was tasked with raising the young. Instead, Dolus only became more embittered and because he has clearly always used his status to his own ends he remains, even after his actions continued to pile up recognizable, identifiable atrocities. The kind of actions that leave people hurt in ways that are not easy to heal from.

Malachi and Isidor’s experiences are established as parallels to one another. Isidor recognizes that the man is a grim reflection of who he could have become if he’d not had such a fateful run-in with Darcy. Malachi has suffered great amounts of pain and repression in his life. His actions are not justifiable but they are understandable. Malachi is, in many ways, the archetypical religious conversion gay man. He uses his pain and belief in Canus (God) to view himself as better. He knows he is above those who commit the sin of homosexuality and do not “get right with god” about it. He identifies with the suffering he inflicts upon himself and sees himself as fundamentally broken. That is the richest vein of his character, that has been hurt so badly that he doesn’t believe in the repression. He needs it. When Isidor tries to echo Darcy’s belief that god could not make a person broken, we see so much more of his tortured soul. It’s like Isidore is slowly cutting the last threads on the rope that is keeping him from falling to his death. We see that in his reaction as well, he says that it doesn’t even matter if what he believes isn’t true. It can’t be untrue, because his doggedness and his penance is the razor edged jenga block that’s keeping him together. He is a hot mess of blood, scars, and abuse vacuum sealed into the giant shape of a man. This is the last piece, seeing Malachi for what he truly is, is the last thing Isidor needed to understand that his newly solidified views on god and the ministry are correct. But the first thing he needed was Darcy.

In the beginning, Isidor is beset by a constant stream of self doubt, self hate, and shame that leads him to being his Father’s favorite leaky boat. There is a constant bailing of water out of himself, a feature that was not only taught to him but rewarded in him by his order. However, when he meets Darcy for the first time, they have an actual real talk about religion, and he is not only pleased by talking about it but is earnestly fulfilled by hearing challenges to his construction of faith. There is doubt within him, doubt that’s not fully pictured but is clear from the outset. Darcy’s words regarding the nature of sin and the meaning of suffering open Isidor’s eyes to something he may have always felt was true. When he is reunited with his father, he fully opens up about everything. It’s clear in those moments that they talk about things they never once mentioned to each other before. There is something about the act of questioning the ministry that bonds the two men more than anything ever could. Isidor doesn’t reflect on it much, but Halstrom has his number when he sees him after the week in the cabin with Darcy. Isidor’s father pulls him by the nape of his neck out of the frying pan that was crafted under him by his teachings and his desire to fulfil them. It’s clear then, more so then it had ever been to Isidor, that his father believes in a loving god. Maybe the old bloodhound had to learn it with time, but the two agree that the ministry is simply rotten in many ways. Something that Isidore realizes his father had primed to learn on his own. When he is ready to love Darcy, Isidor feels no guilt over it. He follows what he believes Canus wants for him. What Darcy knows their god wants for them.

In a lot of ways, there is a skewering of organized religion within the pages of HeartTheft, but the real story is how love is the most important thing. It doesn’t make fun of or condemn belief. For that reason, it is an incredibly powerful deconstruction story.

My only criticism for the novel has very little to do with character or theme and is really more of a craft concern. A concern that is fleeting and doesn’t compare to what is very, very right about this book. I mentioned in my initial thoughts that I doubt that this story needed to be 806 pages.

I struggled a lot with chapters 2-6. I found myself somewhat frustrated that things weren’t happening. It was a lot of descriptions of things that had happened and connective tissue that joined many scenes and events together. This happens though with bigger works, there are always weaker sections. Sometimes those get cut or revised. It’s clear that Rukis was very passionate about these characters and this story. I’m also very pleased and passionate about them, after I began to connect with them at least. I genuinely believe the story would have benefited from zooming in on the cat and mouse aspects between Darcy and Isidor more in the beginning. I don’t think it should have concerned itself with bridging all the events within Isidor’s reflections. One thing that stands out as more evidence that those chapters needed more work is how investigation is skipped over, when in the rest of the book the investigation and mystery is handled so, so, so much better.

There is a lot of bloat, and I simply can’t ignore that in the work. I don’t think it’s so intense as to hinder what is good, however. Oftentimes in the book you’ll get a description of something twice. Usually a paragraph will state a thing, and then the next paragraph will state the same thing in a slightly different way. A lot of the descriptions tend to stall out the flow of scenes. I assume it is meant to be a representation of Isidor’s internal monologue sorta spinning out in his mind, locking him up, but it was so worrisome early on in the novel as the story was still finding its footing. Once things were moving, I found it was usually insightful, providing characterization to Isidor or the world.

I hope that criticism isn’t too harsh. It comes from a place of genuine enjoyment of this novel.

The stars of the show are, of course, Darcy and Isidor. Darcy is first because of that deep admiration the boy feels. I know tropey talk can be sorta annoying to some, but the “enemies to lovers” “slow burn” realization-and-acceptance-of-love-plot in this book is pulled off very well. It is more than the tropes it brought to the table. I appreciate how expectations and tone are delivered across the story. There are so many wonderful characters that feel well thought out, but we truly see Darcy and Isidor go through their own developments. I do have a very important reflection on Darcy’s gender as well. It was handled very well.

It’s clear early on that Isidor builds up feelings for Darcy. A strange attraction that fuels him to hunt the feline more effectively. The devices deployed to bring them together don’t overstay their welcome. In fact, the forced domesticity element is amazing. I almost wished we’d gotten more. The constant struggle that Isidor goes through with his physical attraction for Darcy is really stunning. I appreciate the amount of attention that is paid to the guilt Isidor feels and where it lies. In a lot of respects, he is such a perfectly written character to fit with Darcy. I appreciate that when Isidor is told to go with Darcy to keep them safe, he says no. The fact that he says no twice, that he’s given a chance to rescind his denial is also very powerful. The man just doesn’t trust his own feelings and that is clear. Cillian is deployed perfectly in the second book/second half of the book. He tells Isidor to his face “don’t wait to tell someone how you feel” and then Isdor fucks up and doesn’t express any of his, albeit very complex but, very real feelings. His mistake is IMMEDIATELY punished, which was hard to read. I struggled with him not choosing Darcy, but it made the book stronger and I’m very pleased with how it all worked out.

Darcy is a very compelling character as well. I mentioned that the two are well fitting, and  it comes down to Isidor’s desire to please Darcy. That’s what the feline needs from someone. They need someone who sees them for them and champions them. Darcy’s biggest flaw is not a lack of belief in love. They can tell themselves all day that they struggle with believing people, but it’s clear they have faith in Isidor. It oozes out of them on the page when they’re together. It’s more that Darcy struggles with feeling they deserve love, and that’s what Isidor’s whole thing about Darcy is. I was worried initially that this romance was going to be a bait and switch, that the “good thing” for Darcy would be going to Cillian or getting free from any love. Darcy is Isidor’s silver bullet to the chains of sin, and Isidor is Darcy’s mirror that shows them how much they deserve to live. I appreciate the thought put into the balance of Darcy’s behavior as well, speaking metanarratively. The character being a thief could be off putting to people but they have strong beliefs and morals about what is right and wrong and it’s clear that is why Isidor loves them. Darcy’s more obvious struggle in the story is boxes. People think cats will sit in any box, but some refuse to.

I have heard Rukis faced some pushback regarding the choice “not to show the junk” which feels like a very specific kind of person’s opinion. I was aware of this by the time the sex happened in the book and was eager to see how it was, ya know… handled. (Get it?) (A sex joke.) The obvious concern is how do you describe sex without describing the parts smoooshing in some configuration (preferably the pairing of flesh parts that I like (THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THE OBSERVER)), which is maybe a bit juvenile to believe wholeheartedly. A perceptive reader may have noticed that I have very subtly allowed my opinion slip into this object analysis of art. It is a sane question though. How do you rim a cat without describing the parts? The only valid answer for me is to make fun of the people asking the question. Maybe that’s because I am a trans person and nonbinary and have struggled with what that means when it comes to a person’s body. Honestly, no one understands trans and nonbinary bodies. It’s always about the meat. What is the meat doing, is it inside of you or outside of you.

Darcy’s big question as a fictional character in a written novel is how do we get the reader to not put them in a box and still find them attractive. Speaking from experience, once you’ve been defined by a certain majority of people it truly is a burden. You don’t get that story for yourself anymore. You are no longer yourself, you’re answered. A person has done the mental tallying and now you are defined, no matter how you feel. It’s the I know you’re a woman, BUT. I know you’re nonbinary, can’t we just say x thing though. As a trans or nonbinary person, any and everyone will probably do this to you at some point. Even allies, people who don’t just want to fetishize you or take away your rights. People who say they understand you. Those are the times it hurts the worst.

This novel/novels captures not only that idea well, but we see it happen to Darcy when Isidor sees them for the first time. The fear and the pain of it coming out of them. They’ve just been tortured, but the reveal of what’s in their pants is the only thing hurting them. And Isidor doesn’t see it. Literally. It is not described. It is not defined because it doesn’t matter to him. He loves Darcy. Not the meat, or the in-or-out-ness of it.

And that’s pretty fucking astounding to me.

I was moved by that.

That will stick with me.

– Kacey Pink

For more by Kacey, visit her site, follow on Bluesky or check out her Patreon. 

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