Dogpatch Press

Fluff Pieces Every Week

Category: Opinion

May 30, 2015

Light: A Tale of the Magical Creatures of Zudukii, by T. S. McNally – book review by Fred Patten.

by Patch O'Furr

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

Light: A Tale of the Magical Creatures of Zudukii, by T. S. McNally.81g1ybUzOuL
Syracuse, NY, Bounding Boomer Books, February 2015; trade paperback $9.99 (151 pages), Kindle $4.99.

“Magical creatures” are the operative words here. I usually divide anthropomorphic fiction into either furry or funny-animal fiction, depending upon whether the anthro animals show some semblance of reality as to species, or whether they are “animal-headed humans”. In Light, though, the inhabitants of Zudukii are totally, blatantly fantastic. It is rare when two characters, say a brother and sister, are the same species, and all are basically humans. A bear has an otter sister, who has a kangaroo boyfriend.

Actually, he’s not exactly a kangaroo. While Garoo is usually called a kangaroo, he is more accurately described (disparagingly) as a kangabuck, a kangaroo with antlers; the son of a stag father and a kangaroo mother. See the cover by Selkie. But most characters do not display a mixed heritage. They are either one animal or the other.

Does Garoo hop or walk? The reader can’t tell. Does he have other non-kangaroo attributes? Page 29 says, “The crowd had grown to such a size that the kangaroo wrapped his tail around one of the posts as to keep himself from accidently falling into the water.” Kangaroo tails are not that prehensile.

Do the animals, including anthro birds, wear clothes or not? This is vague until page 31, when “Enveloped in a long green dress, a grey bushy form of a squirrel female […]” — although it’s still unclear as to whether all of the animals wear clothes or only some of them.

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May 29, 2015

Who Wacked Roger Rabbit? – book review by Fred Patten.

by kiwiztiger

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

Who Wacked Roger Rabbit?, by Gary K. Wolf.
Colorado Springs, CO, Musa Publishing, December 2014, trade paperback $14.00 (306 pages).

who-wacked-roger-rabbitThis is the third “Roger Rabbit” novel by Gary K. Wolf in 30+ years. The first, Who Censored Roger Rabbit? (St. Martin’s Press, October 1981), was bought by Walt Disney Productions and turned into the considerably different animated feature Who Framed Roger Rabbit (June 1988). (For example, there is no Toontown; Roger talks through speech balloons; does not spray his P’s; and he is killed in the novel.) The movie was a mega-hit, and Wolf wrote a second novel, Who P-P-P-Plugged Roger Rabbit (Villiard Books, August 1991) that was not as much a sequel as a movie media tie-in. The title emphasized Roger’s distinctive stutter from the movie, and the dust jacket showed Roger and his wife Jessica as they appear in the Disney cartoon design in the movie. But the second novel’s new background was not that of either the first novel nor of the movie.

Now Wolf has written a third novel. Who Wacked Roger Rabbit? seems betwixt & between the first two. The date is 1947 or ’48, when “Walter Windchill” and “Luella Parslips” are still active gossip columnists.

Eddie Valiant, the private eye, is the hard-boiled narrator. “Me and my smog machine rattled our way down Sunset Boulevard to Columbia Studios, the toniest movie lot in Hollywood, where the bungalows are painted with the pixie dust that coats silver screens and the streets are paved with pure movie gold. A schmoe like me rarely gets an invite to a top shop like this. My gumshoes stick to the seamier sidewalks of Tinsel Town.” (p. 3)

Columbia is about to make a new movie starring Gary Cooper, but a deliberate change from his usual Westerns and sophisticated roles. Producer Barney Sands (a human) explains to Eddie that it’s to be set in Toontown, with Coop playing a low-class human living there.

“‘Coop will immerse himself in his role, actually living the life of the character he plays. I want him to hang out in Toontown. Get inside the heads of his Toon co-stars, find out what makes them tick. Use those emotions to structure his own performance.’ Sands flipped his Zip and lit another cigarette. I never saw a guy smoke so fast. Like he had a pair of suction fans inside him instead of lungs. ‘The end result will be sensational. The new Cooper. Crude, basic, and untamed. Giving a performance that delivers a punch straight to the gut.’
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May 27, 2015

Hero’s Best Friend; An Anthology of Animal Companions – book review by Fred Patten.

by kiwiztiger

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

Hero’s Best Friend; An Anthology of Animal Companions, edited by Scott M. Sandridge
Lexington, KY, Seventh Star Press, February 2014, trade paperback $20.95 ([iv] + 447 pages), Kindle $3.99.

Hero's best FriendHero’s Best Friend; An Anthology of Animal Companions is a fantasy anthology of “twenty stories of heroic action that focuses on the furries and scalies who have long been the unsung heroes pulling their foolish human buddies out of the fire”. Superficially, this is not necessarily a furry book. The blurb cites comparisons with Gandalf’s horse Shadowfax, the Vault Dweller’s dog Dogmeat, and the Beastmaster’s “fuzzy allies”; all famously loyal animal companions, but under their human partners’ control. Those animals are no more anthropomorphic than the Lone Ranger’s horse Silver.

But these are stories by fantasy authors, and they emphasize the animals’ conscious partnership or dominance over their human companions. “[T]he unsung heroes pulling their foolish human buddies out of the fire” is the operative m.o.

In “Toby and Steve Save the World” by Joy Ward, Steve is the human and Toby, a Pembroke corgi, appears to be his dumb pet. But the story is told from Toby’s view, and it’s clear that the dog recognizes the menaces and deliberately maneuvers his clueless human into taking care of them. The story is definitely anthro. It also wallows in self-conscious cuteness.

“Dusk” by Frank Creed is narrated by Dusk, a housecat in the future. Dusk is the partner of a man codenamed Whisp, but here the human is aware of the cat’s strengths, and they trust each other. Whisp and Dusk are undercover police agents seeking a criminal gang in 2038 Chicago’s Chinatown slums, and Dusk (among others) is bionically enhanced.

“I sniffed the alien scents on the shelves in my aisle – and also the faint charcoal bouquet of expensive whiskey – while Whisp did what the wanted. From the back of the shop I eyeballed inside the stairwell where sat a thin middle-aged yellow-skinned man on a stool. He wore suspenders over a plain white stained tee and held a cup. He looked at me, but it felt wrong.
Other eyes saw through his eyes, and the fur on my spine spiked.” (p. 18)

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May 26, 2015

Anniversary of the New Jersey FurBQ Hoax – this bullshit cost $185,000.

by Patch O'Furr

Update: read to bottom for new details of the $185,000 cost!

Remember this sad thing? On May 26, 2012, the final New Jersey FurBQ was held for nearly 200 attendees.  It ended seven years of a party loved by a community of friends.  But it didn’t just die – it was killed with controversy and nasty headlines.  The truth was buried under biased and false reporting.

It’s a tale of intolerance and ridicule. Misinformation and dishonesty. Exploiting and scapegoating.  Shaming and moralizing against “offenses” like having fun and serving alcohol to adults over 21.  A fake sex scandal, that provoked our own anti-sex hysteria. Beneath it all, dirty town politics.

They said they had photos of two costumers doing “simulated” public sex. Everyone freaked out and pointed at each other – but it was a wild rumor. The accusations failed burden of proof.  Accusers are responsible to give evidence, but they failed to produce photos or even names, when harm made it critical to be fair.   I say if it happened, we’d at least know names.  If you’re a furry, you know how rumors go. Sure, evidence could have been held for confidentiality – but there’s no credibility for that. Photos didn’t just fail to exist – there were extra allegations of lying, a money incentive, and an unreasonable rush to judgement that was too perfectly provoked. It’s way past time to call it a HOAX. This may be the first headline to do it. (I found support from this DJ who was there.)
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May 23, 2015

Escape from St. Arned, by Rose LaCroix – book review by Fred Patten.

by Patch O'Furr

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

Escape from St. Arned, by Rose LaCroixthreetails03
Dallas, TX, FurPlanet Productions, September 2014, trade paperback $9.95 (143 pages).

This title is a work of anthropomorphic fiction for adult readers only.

As LaCroix’s Basecraft Cirrostratus (June 2010) ended, Elor (Prof. Elor Kaya, cougar), Vinz (Vinz Nivariya, wolf), and Laz (Y’Lazde Malek, fox) appeared to have escaped from the despotism of Occidentania, and hiding in its lawless Basecraft Cirrostratus giant flying airbase, to the freedom of a new life in Riverlea in neighboring Lyocia. But as Escape from St. Arnaud opens a year later, everything is suddenly falling apart for them.

Elor loses his new college job when Occidentania’s old false charges of immorality against him reach Lyocia, and the rumors of immorality make it impossible to get a new job. Also, crimelord Hannock Burrad’s gang from the Cirrostratus is trying to kill him. But the rival criminal gang of Kerro (stoat), which has relocated in Lyocia and is supplying weapons to all the factions in Occidentania, offers to protect Elor and give him a job if he will deliver a shipment for them. Meanwhile, Hannock’s goons rough up Laz while looking for Elor, and the hot-tempered Vinz blames the cougar for his lover’s being hurt. When Laz sides with Elor, Vinz storms out. Then Laz leaves Elor for a different long-term job.

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May 19, 2015

A con was threatened, but don’t attack symptoms and make a problem worse.

by Patch O'Furr

There were lots of reasons to celebrate in Reno, on May 14-17, 2015.  2400 furballs tumbled across the desert to Biggest Little Fur Con, making it the 6th largest con after three short years. I spoke to the Chair, who said that they were very lucky to have the extravagant layout of the Grand Sierra. Happy vibes filled it up. There was a group photo of 700 fursuiters.  I jumped in to hug as many as possible, and it was like a spin in a dryer on fluff cycle.

Swept away from the outpouring of Furry friendship, there was one little black speck of pain. While others acted out their inner feelings in colorful costumes, one lonely guy let his inner demons out.  He went to make an outburst with threats of violence.  It was a cry for help. But the community could only help itself, and he was detained and escorted away.  Everyone else’s happiness could only be a mirage in his personal desert.

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May 16, 2015

Catalyst and Catacombs – book review by Fred Patten.

by kiwiztiger

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

Catalyst; A Tale of the Barque Cats, by Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Ann Scarborough
NYC, Ballantine Books, January 2010, hardcover $26.00 (256 [+ 5] pages), Kindle $7.99.

Catacombs; A Tale of the Barque Cats, by Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Ann Scarborough
NYC, Ballantine Books, December 2010, hardcover $26.00 (236 [+ 3] pages), Kindle $9.99.

9780345513762_p0_v1_s600 McCaffrey and Scarborough, two well-known cat-lovers, focus upon cats of the interstellar future in this two-volume series. “Hood Station, where they had just docked, was a backwater facility providing the interface between the agro-based planet Sherwood and the rest of the universe.” (Catalyst, p. 3) The opening lead characters are Janina Mauer, a human Cat Person, and her charge, Chessie, the Barque Cat of the interstellar freighter Molly Daise. They have just arrived at Hood Station. Janina’s exact age is not given, but clues make her a rather naïve young woman. Barque Cats “are highly prized, as [they] are not only superbly bred but have all grown into the best ships’ cats in the universe.” They “save lives […] patrol the tight areas of our spaceships, keeping rodents from eating the coating on cables, smelling hazardous gases and even escaping oxygen”. (p. 4) They are extremely valuable, leading to Chessie being bred as often as is safe.

It is obvious in the first chapter that, although Catalyst is packaged and priced as an adult book, this is really an adventure for teenagers. Janina has a chaste crush on Dr. Jared Vlast, Sherwood’s handsome young veterinarian, which he reciprocates. As important as the humans seem, it is Chessie who is the focus of the opening of the story. The writing is “cozy”: “Chessie was surprised her human friends couldn’t hear each other’s chests pounding. Or maybe they could and just wouldn’t admit it. Humans were so strange about mating matters.” (p. 10)
And although Barque Cats are already highly intelligent cats, clues tell the reader that something in their diet on the frontier planet Sherwood is making both them and other Earth animals mutate or evolve into real sentience.

“As Jared then moved on to a quick, competent feel of her [Chessie’s] fecund belly, he asked Jenina what was concerning her.

‘Well, she’s been regurgitating a lot, and it’s strange looking.’ Janina showed him the vial that contained the latest of her spit-up. Humans collected the strangest things! Janina turned it in the light. ‘You see it’s got these sparkly bits that I can’t account for at all.’” (p. 12)

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May 15, 2015

Dude, Where’s My Fox?, by Kyell Gold – book review by Fred Patten.

by Patch O'Furr

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

Dude, Where’s My Fox?, by Kyell Gold. Illustrated by BlackTeagan.
Dallas, TX, FurPlanet Productions, September 2014, trade paperback $9.95 ( [3] + 115 pages), Kindle $7.99.

DWMF-Cover-smallThis is “A Red Velvet Cupcake”, FurPlanet’s eighth “Cupcake” novella for fiction between the short story and novel lengths. It does not have FurPlanet’s usual Adults warning for NC-17 content of a M/M erotic relationship, but it probably – no; definitely! — should. Here is FurPlanet’s back-cover blurb:

“Lonnie’s slept with exactly two guys in his life: his ex-boyfriend of three years Steven, and the fox he just hooked up with while drunk at a party. The fox didn’t leave his name, just his scent in Lonnie’s fur—but a scent is enough for a wolf to follow a trail. With his friends Derek the gym wolf and Jeremy the fashionplate rat helping him, Lonnie will learn lessons of dating, sex, and trust, and maybe he’ll find the fox whose scent is just right before the clock chimes midnight.”

Lonnie (no last names here), the narrator, is a young, slightly small (5’5”) wolf. He’s a recent college graduate and structural geologist who seems to devote more of his life to his gay proclivities than to his professional career. He is still getting over his breakup with Steven, his previous red fox boyfriend, when he gets so drunk at a party that, when he wakes up the next morning, he can’t remember much about the male fox that he had sex with the night before, except that it was so good that Lonnie is determined to find him again:

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May 14, 2015

Mask/hood bans: Haters love this excuse for war on fun and freedom.

by Patch O'Furr

3RANT! Sometimes, you don’t know how good it is to have tolerance, until you see it taken away from others.

In Vermont, fursuiters were mingling with crowds at a Mardi Gras celebration.  They were high-fiving people and making them feel like they were in magical unicorn-land, like fursuiters do.  Then a town official with a Sequoia up his butt decided that fun should be illegal. Or they weren’t paying the Smile Tax. Or whatever.

Vermont town selectively bans fursuiters: Prejudice complaint and update.

Here’s what happened since:  The sad fursuiters patiently worked with the town, trying to jump through their hoops to get permits.  The town officials stroked their Hitler mustaches, and came up with this scheisse:

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May 7, 2015

PULP! Two-Pawed Tales of Adventure – book review by Fred Patten.

by kiwiztiger

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

PULP! Two-Pawed Tales of Adventure, edited by Ianus J. Wolf
Las Vegas, NV, Rabbit Valley Books, September 2014, trade paperback $20.00 (255 pages).

pulp-two-pawed-tales-of-adventure-edited-by-ianus-j-wolf-67151“The Pulps” were the rough-edged inexpensive, popular fiction magazines that were published from the late 1890s through the early 1950s, on the cheapest wood-pulp paper available. There were general-fiction magazines like All-Story and Argosy, and specialized magazines like Black Mask (mystery), Exciting Western (Western), Fight Stories (sports), G-8 and His Battle Aces (aerial warfare), Love and Romance (romance), Railroad Stories (railroad adventure), Ranch Romances (romantic Western), South Sea Stories (sea adventure), Thrilling Wonder Stories (science fiction), Weird Tales (horror), and many others. The 1920s to the ‘50s was also a period of similar weekly radio adventure-fiction dramatizations.

Now Rabbit Valley Books has recreated that era, but with anthro animal casts. Editor Ianus J. Wolf presents eight stories as though they were episodes of “The RVO Radio Evening of Adventure”.

PULP! Two-Pawed Tales of Adventure is a very mixed bag. Some of the stories are just standard adventure stories with funny-animal casts. (Boring.) Some seem to be standard adventures with funny animals, but the animal natures of the characters turn out to be pertinent. (Clever.) And some present a new kind of adventure designed for a furry world. (Admirably imaginative!) But it would be a spoiler to say which is which.

“The Ruins” by Tym Greene is an Indiana Jones-type Amazonian adventure. Liam Felton, an experienced explorer (zebra), and Stewart Brace (Dalmatian dog), an inexperienced youth but the son of the company president who ordered the expedition, search through the South American jungle for the ancient Indian temple that holds the Secret of the Gods. An unscrupulous rival, Maicon Klauss (magpie), and his hulking henchman Bernard (Clysdale horse) are ahead of them.

“Prey” by Ocean Tigrox is a Western. A nameless grizzled badger bounty hunter comes into a dusty Nevada town looking for a rabbit outlaw. “The rabbit could run but he couldn’t hide.” (p. 23) He finds that the whole town is hiding a more deadly secret. There are a vulture saloonkeeper, a bobcat mayor, an eagle sheriff and his hyena deputy, a cougar callgirl, a jackal clergyman, and more. Read the rest of this entry »

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