Dogpatch Press

Fluff Pieces Every Week

It was so much fun to be in an outrageous Rap CD and a live comedy show!

by Patch O'Furr

You never know what Halloween will bring in San Francisco.  You can tour an Erotic Haunted House based on “Dante’s Inferno”, at a landmark castle (used as a BDSM porn studio), full of circus performers ready to give an amazing show.  That’s Hell In The Armory.  It’s the only place around that has great job opportunities for evil masturbating clowns.  I guess it’s a living in a dog-eat-dog economy, where workplaces are literally Hell.

It’s part of San Francisco’s lively scene of subcultural circus theater, avant-cabaret, and burlesque, that crosses over with comedy and music.  If you’re bold enough to get a taste – soon you might be throwing your own ingredients into this strange, sexy mix of alternative media and shows.

That’s how I ended up in this rap video, wearing bling and drinking from the potty like a happy puppy dog.  There’s no excuse, it just tasted so refreshing… Mmm!  Here’s the story of MC Crumbsnatcher and his Nerdcore comedy rap with furries. (The naughty potty part is at 3:09). NSFW:

Now I’m inside the CD.  Thanks, Crumby for this super classy opportunity.

It's actually a guy in a toilet suit - a Pottysona.

Actually a guy dancing in a potty suit – a Toiletsona.

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Wild Dog City, by Lydia West – Book Review By Fred Patten

by Pup Matthias

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

wild dog cityWild Dog City, by Lydia West
Raleigh, NC, Lulu.com, September 2014, hardcover $35.99 (iii + 264 pages), trade paperback $17.99, Kindle $5.99.

The opening of Wild Dog City is deliberately confusing.

“It was utterly dark, the cold air sinking in the high concrete tunnel with a dull rushing sound, like the long sigh of an invisible giant. The blackness was really absolute; the platforms and the blandly tiled walls and the trench lined with a metal track were all blanketed in that whispering emptiness. The electric lights that had once lit the subway had long since sputtered out.

But there was a sound, under the humming of air; claws softly scratching concrete.

‘Mother!’

The voice was high and strange, the word sharp in the blackness. It came again.

‘Mother! Mother, are you here?’” (p. 1) Read the rest of this entry »

Furry Halloween treats, McGruff Goes To Jail – NEWSDUMP (11/4/15)

by Patch O'Furr

Headlines, links and little stories to make your tail wag.  Guest posts welcome. Tips: patch.ofurr@gmail.com

12189827_1150763194953018_5433177237520487821_nHalloween treats:  Popularity for Rocket Raccoon, and some looks at the culture of costuming.

Mom’s costume creation goes viral, ‘wins’ Halloween 2015.  A very lucky kid in Michigan got to be an accurately-diminutive Rocket Raccoon, complete with moving jaw.  It got shared on Facebook by the director of Guardians of The Galaxy.  This isn’t claimed to be overtly “furry”, but when Mom makes cosplay outfits for Comic Con… it makes you wonder what research helped to build it from scratch.

UPDATE: The maker confirmed to me that Furry tutorials helped build it. I asked her opinion of furries, and she says:

It’s some tough work everyone does and all of you should be proud. I made so many mistakes because there aren’t a lot of tutorials for doing stuff like this. I honestly didn’t know too much about furries until I was trying to research how to make a movable mouth for my son.

In Huntsville Alabama, inside the business of Fig Leaf Costumes: “it looks like a dressing room for furries in here.” Read between the lines, and the article might involve us, maybe indirectly. There’s this thoughtful tidbit:

So why does he still enjoy playing dress up at age 35? “I love how people react. If you dressed up as a character they love they come over and give you a hug. It’s just a good feeling,” says Harrison, who along with his girlfriend plans to dress up in a couples costume for Halloween this year: “Lady and The Tramp.” Burkholder thinks the trend of adults continuing to dress in costumes, for Halloween and otherwise, is due to “Gen X feels a little bit lost so what we’re doing is claiming a little bit of a community for ourselves, especially with cosplay. And also with modernity people move away from so they want to form a sense of community, so whether it’s videogames or cosplay it’s people coming together. And I like that.

Milford Schools Criticized Nationally Over ‘Halloween Ban’.” A smaller city in Connecticut planned to stop costuming at some public schools.  That quickly changed after everyone growled about political correctness.  It reminds me of a similar-sized city in Vermont banning fursuiters.  Are they just too uptight in New England?  Are some people afraid of self-expression?

16 year sentence for McGruff the Crime Dog.

“The actor who played the crime-fighting cartoon character McGruff the Crime Dog, was sentenced to 16 years in prison stemming from a 2011 arrest in which police seized 1,000 marijuana plants, 27 weapons – including a grenade launcher – and 9,000 rounds of ammunition from his home…”

mcgruff-grenade-launcher

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Eludoran: The Legend of Lorelei in a Geste of Grave Misconceptions, by Jonathan Goh – Book Review By Fred Patten

by Pup Matthias

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

eludoran coverEludoran: The Legend of Lorelei in a Geste of Grave Misconceptions, by Jonathan Goh. Illustrated, map, by Anya Ewing.
Singapore, Partridge Publishing, December 2014, hardcover $48.38 (877 pages); Bloomington, IN, Xlibris, February 2015, trade paperback $32.25 (868 [+ 1] pages), Kindle $3.99.

(As far as I can tell from the fine print, Eludoran was published in hardcover by Partridge Publishing in Singapore in December 2014, then in an almost but not quite identical trade paperback edition by Xlibris, which is headquartered in Bloomington, Indiana but has offices all around the world. Its edition of Eludoran comes from Xlibris’ office in Gordon, NSW, a suburb of Sydney. Does anyone besides me care about this trivia?)

Eludoran is furry epic poetry in alliterative verse, inspired by J. R. R. Tolkien. It begins with a quote from Tolkien’s The Lay of Leithian, and is “In memory of John Ronald Reuel Tolkien”. It is presented in three Acts; the first two of 16 Cants (cantos) each, and the third of 12 Cants. Each Act opens with a detailed map or a full-page illustration. Read the rest of this entry »

Fred Patten’s “What the Well-Read Furry Should Read”: October Update.

by Patch O'Furr

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

Fred’s list covers an exhaustive variety of decades worth of Furry fiction, including classics from long ago.  (It occurs to me that Watership Down has an undeniably deserved place at the top of the list, but The Wind In The Willows is overlooked!  Maybe it should be reviewed?)

See the original list, including Fred’s Top Ten Classics.  After a while, all updates will be added there for completion.  But for now, find the newest items here.

The list is organized in three sections: First by author, Second by title, each linked to Fred’s reviews, and Third Fred’s other articles he has written about the fandom.  Enjoy and I hope you find your next Furry classic.

(Thanks to the Furry Writer’s Guild for granting Associate Membership because of this list and more. Thanks to Poppa Bookworm for help with formatting. – Patch)

BY AUTHOR

The Guardian HerdAkins, Gary  Who Killed Kathleen Gingers?  http://dogpatch.press/2015/06/11/who-killed-kathleen-gingers/#more-14415
Alvarez, Jennifer Lynn  The Guardian Herd: Stormbound
http://dogpatch.press/2015/06/25/guardian-herd-stormbound/#more-14862
Ayroles, Alain & Masbou, Jean-Luc  De Cape et De Crocs, t. 11
http://dogpatch.press/2015/06/13/de-cape-et-de-crocs-2/#more-14404

Blasingame, Ted R.  Blue Horizon: Book 2  http://dogpatch.press/2015/06/05/blue-horizon-book-2/#more-14402
Blasingame, Ted R.  Second Chance: Furmankind II
http://dogpatch.press/2015/09/10/second-chance-furmankind-ii/#more-18097
Blasingame, Ted R.  Sunset of Furmankind (expanded ed.)
http://dogpatch.press/2015/08/21/sunset-of-furmankind/#more-17139

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Cat Crimebusters and Other P.I.’s on Paws – Book Review By Fred Patten

by Patch O'Furr

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

31Ys21veVpLI have written lots of reviews of French talking-animal comic books. It’s time to also cover talking-animals in text in the mystery/detective novel field. Here is a profile of one of the oldest series of all; the Midnight Louie novels by Carole Nelson Douglas. Future articles will present other cat crimebusters, dog detectives (mostly the Chet and Bernie series by Spencer Quinn), and a whole slew of German animal sleuths from Akif Pirinçci’s brutal Felidae novels to Moritz Matthies’ “ultra-cool” novels about meerkat detectives who sneak out of the Berlin Zoo to investigate animal murders.

This is a sort-of milestone in the annals of the cat crimebusters. By that, I mean the feline murder mysteries that have been so popular among mystery fans for the past three decades. And I don’t mean all the “cat cozies” in which an unanthropomorphized pet cat tags along with the human amateur detective while she solves the crime. I mean those in which the cat is the real detective – and usually the narrator – finding the clues, and surreptitiously batting them out for the human amateur detective or the police to find.

The milestone is the almost-conclusion after two and a half decades of Carole Nelson Douglas’ Midnight Louie alphabet series. She has been writing one or two a year in alphabetical order for over twenty-six years. This year, in 2015, she has reached the end of the alphabet with Cat in a Zebra Zoot Suit, published on August 24. Temple Barr is a young publicist in colorful Las Vegas living in a rundown but exotic apartment house. She is “adopted” by Midnight Louie, a stray slightly-overweight black cat (about 20 pounds) who moves in. While Louie detects for the animals, the main crimes are human that Temple has to solve. Louie surreptitiously helps. There are Temple Barr, the Las Vegas publicity agent who is Louie’s apparent owner and unsuspecting cover for his detecting – Max Kinsella and Matt Devine, Temple’s two lovers – Carmen Molina, the hard-as-nails Las Vegas female police detective who gives Temple and Louie a hard time – Electra Lark, Temple’s elderly Circle Ritz apartment-house manager, and Van von Rhine, owner of Vegas’ high-end Crystal Phoenix hotel, Temple’s main client – Louie’s Midnight Investigations, Inc., later expanded into his Vegas Cat Pack assistants including Midnight Louise, his (probable) daughter, and Ma Barker, his mother – and too many to list here. Next year the 28th novel in the series, Cat in an Alphabet Endgame, will wrap it all up. (Though Douglas has promised that Louie will go on to new adventures.)

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The Prophecy Machine and The Treachery of Kings – Book Reviews by Fred Patten.

by Patch O'Furr

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

the Prophecy MachineThe Prophecy Machine, by Neal Barrett Jr.
NYC, Bantam Books/Spectra, November 2000, 0-553-58195-3 paperback $6.50 (342 [+ 1] pages).

The Treachery of Kings, by Neal Barrett Jr.
NYC, Bantam Books/Spectra, August 2001, 0-553-58196-1 paperback $6.50 (326 [+ 1] pages).

In works of fiction, usually the focus is upon the plot, or the main characters. In The Prophecy Machine by Neal Barrett, Jr. and its sequel, The Treachery of Kings, it is the setting: the weird, wonderful world in which the stories take place.   In its land of Makasar, to quote The Prophecy Machine’s blurb, “Its two major religions are Hatters and Hooters. During the day, Hatters, wearing hats of course, wander about jabbing pointy sticks into bystanders. The night is ruled by the Hooters, who hoot and set fire to people and things. Hospitality is considered a capital crime. And Newlies, the humanized animals, are treated lower than scum.”

The protagonist in this fey world is Master Lizard-Maker Finn, who runs The Lizard Shoppe in Ulster-East, where he makes mechanical lizards such as the one on his shoulder when he is introduced aboard the ocean vessel Madeleine Rose:

“‘What I thought is,’ the captain said, rubbing a sleeve across his nose, ‘I thought, with the salt air and all, the ah–object on your shoulder there, that’s the thing I mean, might be prone to oxidation, to rust as it’s commonly called.’

‘Indeed.’

‘I’ve been some curious, as others have as well, just what it might be. Now don’t feel we’re trying to intrude . . .’

‘Of course not, sir.’ Finn smiled, taking some pleasure in finding the captain ill at ease. ‘What you speak of is a lizard. I design and craft lizards of every sort. Lizards for work, lizards for play. Lizards for the rich and poor alike. I make them of metal, base and precious too, sometimes with finery, sometimes with gems. The one you see here is made of copper, tin, iron, and bits of brass.’

The captain closed one squinty eye, looked at Finn’s shoulder, then looked away again.

‘And these–lizards, what exactly do they do, Master Finn?’

‘Oh, a great number of things,’ Finn said. ‘When we have some time I’d be pleased to explain. It might be I can make one for you.’” (The Prophecy Machine, p. 3)

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Bones of the Empire, by Jim Galford – Book Review By Fred Patten

by Patch O'Furr

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

bones of the empireBones of the Empire, by Jim Galford.
Seattle, WA, CreateSpace, August 2015, trade paperback $13.99 (508 pages), Kindle $2.99.

Bones of the Empire is Book 5 and the conclusion of Galford’s The Fall of Eldvar series. It connects the events in both Books 1 & 2, In Wilder Lands and Into the Desert Wilds, and Book 4, The Northern Approach. This is a continuous series, so it assumes that the reader is familiar with the events in the four prior novels. If you have not read them yet, you had better start with the first and read them in order. This is not a chore; the whole series is a single gripping adventure.

Eldvar is a world of humans, elves, dwarfs, talking dragons and more, including the wildlings who are anthropomorphic animals. The story’s focus on the wildlings is why the novels of The Fall of Eldvar have qualified for previous reviews. Most of the setting is similar to the eastern foothills of the Rocky Mountains. (Bones of the Empire debuted at Rocky Mountain Fur Con 2015 in Denver.) The Northern Approach was about Raeln (a wildling wolf) and On’esquin (an orc), the leaders of a group of desperate refugees from fallen Lantonne fleeing the conquering Turessi necromantic armies of zombie warriors, abandoning the refugees to set out alone to fulfill the prophecy to overthrow the necromancers. That group meets up with the party of wildlings, humans, fae-kin, and everything else led by Estin (a ring-tailed lemur wildling) and Feanne (a red vixen) from the first two novels. (The wraparound cover by Rukis features Estin, Feanne, and two fanged dire wolves.) The four volumes of the series come together for this finale. Read the rest of this entry »

Zootopia characters revealed, Furries on NCIS, 7 foot tall furry hugs – NEWSDUMP (10/26/15)

by Patch O'Furr

Headlines, links and little stories to make your tail wag.  Guest posts welcome. Tips: patch.ofurr@gmail.com

"Bonnie Hunt provides the voice of Bonnie Hopps. Judy's mother. Don Lake voices Judy’s father, Stu Hopps, a carrot farmer from Bunnyburrow. (Disney)"

“Bonnie Hunt provides the voice of Bonnie Hopps. Judy’s mother. Don Lake voices Judy’s father, Stu Hopps, a carrot farmer from Bunnyburrow. (Disney)”

USA Today shares a lot of new Zootopia images and story hints.

Are you excited for Disney’s new furriest movie?  Mrs. Otterton’s missing husband spurs the action on.  There’s “Duke Weaselton, a small-time weasel crook with a big-time mouth”. Judy Hopps is “a ground-breaking rabbit trying to make it as a cop” – it sounds like bunnies usually aren’t cops, so we get a nice hint about what species means in the Zootopia world.  Enjoy more from USA Today’s exclusive Facebook gallery.

You know furries everywhere are getting ready for the 2016 Furmageddon*… in the SF Bay area, dozens are already signed up to go fursuiting to the opening in March. (*I’ve been reminded that Furpocalypse is a convention happening this weekend.)

Furries on NCIS Los Angeles.

Last week there was a CSI-style bad furry stereotype on iZombie.  This week, two NCIS characters revealed furriness.

Go to 18:00 in the link.  The important part starts at around 19:00.  It goes for about a minute, with one more remark before the scene cuts at 21:00.  It’s lightly humorous, maybe flirty banter between the two characters.  They joke about how furry conventions can “go off the rails”, but that’s the worst judgement.  They discuss fursonas and share appreciation, making a nice, innocuous minute in the pop culture spotlight. Isn’t that a relief?

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ROAR vol. 6 – book review by Fred Patten.

by Patch O'Furr

Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer, submits this review:

ROAR volume 6, Scoundrels, edited by Mary E. Lowd.
Dallas, TX, Bad Dog Books, July 2015, trade paperback $19.95 (394 pages), Kindle $9.95.

ROAR6ROAR, Bad Dog Books’ about-annual anthology of non-erotic furry adventure short fiction, enters a new phase with volume 6. Volumes 2 through 5 were edited by Buck C. Turner. Mary E. Lowd takes over with #6, and she’s announced as the editor for 2016’s #7. What are the differences?

ROAR has grown considerably larger. #1, edited by Ben Goodridge in 2007, has 12 stories in 277 pages. #2 through #5, edited by Buck Turner, expanded slowly and erratically — #2 in 2010 is 6 stories in 320 pages, #3 is 10 stories in 260 pages, #4 is 12 stories in 297 pages, and #5 is 14 stories in 325 pages. (All previous volumes are still available.) ROAR #6 is 28 stories in 394 pages; a large jump forward.

ROAR #1 through #5 contain furry dramatic adventures and serious mood pieces. #6 adds humor to the mixture. Here are the first half-dozen stories:

“Squonk the Dragon” by Pete Butler. A dragon’s egg is hatched by Mrs. Tweedle-Chirp, a small blue bird. Squonk builds a nest for himself at the top of a giant tree. Wendel the wizard assumes that all dragons live in caves, so Squonk must be a scoundrel and tries to get rid of him. The story is enjoyably amusing, but it feels more like a case of mistaken identity, not a real scoundrel.

“Brush and Sniff” by mwalimu. Berek, an adolescent in a small village of anthro wolves, is given Itchit, a captured wild squirrel as a pet. He gradually trains Itchit (who he calls Brush) through kindness to accept him. The story is developed through both viewpoints; Berek’s and Itchit’s. This is a gentle, well-written mood piece, though there is no real reason for Berek and his family and neighbors to be anthro wolves rather than humans. This could be any story about a frontier boy coaxing a wild squirrel to accept him.

“Faithful” by Marshall L. Moseley. Okay, this is a drama with justifiable anthro characters and a real scoundrel. Read the rest of this entry »