Wanted: your most embarrassing Furry Trash for a “Mortified” style article.

by Patch O'Furr



Do you know John Waters? He’s “the Pope of Trash” – a movie maker, author, performer and beloved icon of freaks everywhere. In the 1970’s, his no-budget, LSD-infused comedy took John and his cast into Midnight Movie superstardom and beyond.  In 2013, at a stage show, I got him to talk about furries to the audience. My article about it mentioned giving him an invitation to San Francisco’s legendary Frolic fur dance.

This week, that got attention from another creative force, the organizers of Mortified. They were looking for help to invite John to a project.  They reached out to Dogpatch Press and I was happy to hook them up with info.  I wanted to help (with furry hugs on top) when I saw what they do:

Mortified celebrates stories revealed through the strange and extraordinary things we created as kids.

Witness adults sharing their most embarrassing childhood artifacts (journals, letters, poems, lyrics, plays, home movies, art) with others, in order to reveal stories about their lives. Hear grown men and women confront their past with tales of their first kiss, first puff, worst prom, fights with mom, life at bible camp, worst hand job, best mall job, and reasons they deserved to marry Jon Bon Jovi.”

I’ll bet that might strike a chord with some furry fans. Do you have an old Livejournal you cringe about?  RP chat logs?  A horrible Durrsuit? A story about wanting to marry Robin Hood? Would you share some of it, if we promise to be nice about it or keep it anonymous if you ask?

Please send your submission for an article! Email: patch.ofurr@gmail.com.


Remember, this needs artifacts first of all – journals, letters, art, videos etc with entertainment value.  Then tell a personal story about it.  And I know that mocking is one thing furries get sensitive about, because it’s tiresome from others.  This is to laugh with you, not at you.

squirrelAnd maybe more. If it’s beyond in-joke, and regular people might enjoy it too, I could ask Mortified to share or retweet.  Think about it… being “cringey” is already a topic furries share with each other.   How about in front of regular people? Everyone can have it in common.  Mortified is there to celebrate that, and I think it could bring some love from people who have never met a furry and only hear about them from mean people.

It’s silly to be a talking animal.  That’s why furries are charming.  No need to be overdefensive about it. This isn’t to feed attacks, it’s about owning your own image, warts and all, without apologizing.  Enjoying a hobby doesn’t depend on impressing people who don’t.  If others want to pick on your sensitivities, they’ll just be slow and dumb if you beat them to it.

The mission of Dogpatch Press: “Expect bold claims, jaunty opinions, and lots of love (and fleas).” Here’s a jaunty opinion. Furries don’t need validation to be cool – other people are just missing out if they don’t appreciate what’s here.  I hope we never lose stuff like this.

Don’t think I would ask you to do it without doing it myself first.  It was so much fun to be in an outrageous Rap CD and a live comedy show!  It got outsider appreciation. Show Review: Live Sex (10/16/15).  I think there’s tons of potential for furries to perform outside of fandom, and I hope to see more of it.


Exchanging Fluids on PBS: Your eyes will bug out at this WTF furry video from 1992! – and – Q&A with Biohazard of the infamous “Too Hot for PBS” video.