“He’s a Steve” – The Onion gets hip to the furry jive
by Patch O'Furr
I’m crying at this breaking news from The Onion.
There’s something funny about how they wrote it.
Check this out:
Dogpatch Press
Fluff Pieces Every Week
Category: funny
May 24, 2021
Jimmy Kimmel’s Fursuit Fixation
by Joe Strike
Welcome to guest Joe Strike, journalist and author of Furry Nation, the furry fandom history book. (- Patch)
It’s not the first time Jimmy Kimmel has exploited Furry for a cheap laugh or two. (Furs with long memories or prone to Wikifur browsing might remember Kimmel/The Man Show’s 2003 ConFurence controversy.)
— but Kimmel (or his writers’) anti-furry bias has resurfaced with vengeance, judging from a couple of recent throwaway Jimmy Kimmel Show gags. On May 5th Kimmel referenced the ongoing NaziFur controversy in the most trivializing/assholey manner possible:
“Twitter has a feature now that will double-check with you before you post a mean or offensive comment… some people even want to get on the list [of comments or language that should be confirmed before posting].
He then posted a screen capture of a news story comment reading “Can we get “NaziFur” added to the toxicity list? It’s used by furrys [sic] who want to demonize other furrys who they can hate and it causes them irreparable reputational harm.”
Kimmel’s “clever” comeback (perhaps inspired by that memorable Entourage episode – ):
“That’s right, it causes ‘harm’ to the reputations of those of us who like to get a handy in a squirrel costume every once in a while.”
Yes, because nothing says “funny” like comparing fascism to masturbation.
Gag can be viewed here; comment author posted as a nazifur and was banned from Furaffinity.
August 31, 2020
Weird Portland, Pepper Coyote and a Sleestak are a perfect match for the dumpster fire of 2020
by Patch O'Furr
Two stories this week are an antidote to a year full of doom, gloom, fire, fury, and not nearly enough hugs and smiles.
First: Possibly some of the peak publicity furry music has ever gotten! Then, a scaly monster stalks the streets of Portland… here’s hoping he does a Q&A for us.
As Portland cops stood around in their brawly-boy uniforms, a loudspeaker blasted them with a song about horse cock.https://t.co/DZxeeHGPJm
— The Stranger 🗞 (@TheStranger) August 28, 2020
January 23, 2020
The Furry Karate Hero who stopped an assault at Fur Con
by Patch O'Furr
“I threw my paws to the ground and took my head and collar off” — The last thing they see before the furpile.
In San Jose on January 17, fursuiters were cooling off outside Further Confusion‘s main hotel. That’s when a car stopped short, and they heard the driver screaming “Get out!” She was being beaten. Onlookers ran to the car and pulled a male passenger off of her.
“Among the first on scene was the pink dinosaur, who wrested the suspect by the head and shoulders while a massive tail bobbed in his wake” – The Mercury News
Kin Z. Shiratsuki is the furry they quoted: “This guy was just walloping a lady,” Shiratsuki said. “He had to have hit her 10 times.” But wait, pink dinosaur? She’s a KOBOLD/ROO (also sometimes a purple gryphon). Get it right… read furry news!
The group of helpers show that not all heroes wear capes — some wear fursuits. They can join the ranks with furries in a past story who helped crash victims escape a car on fire.
Kin is often at local SF Bay Area meets and responded to a Q&A.
Hi Kin. Did you see the video of the incident went around a lot? It even made CNN’s front page.
Oh gosh it did, meep meep I did not see. I just saw one Twitter post and a Facebook post. I’m just glad that the cops came and arrested the guy.
What’s the story from being on the scene?
I was walking around the corner in suit with a friend. I heard some people talking, and focused on two in the car. As soon as I saw what was happening I yelled at the group of people, “get the car door open, get him out of there!” and they acted. I told people to call 911, and called myself.
May 16, 2019
5 STAR VISIT: Furry gets Airbnb room in San Francisco, finds furry yiff art on the wall
by Patch O'Furr
I'M AT AN AIRBNB AND THERES FRAMED PICTURES OF YIFF ON THE WALLS pic.twitter.com/j23WpGnSre
— Juice @ FWA (@juicebun) May 15, 2019
When you travel, they say if you want real experiences, go where the locals go and do what they do. But you probably don’t expect to pack a black light.
One lucky traveler went to San Francisco, and got surprised by extra special hospitality with their stay. They had a rented Airbnb room. That can be a crapshoot. Airbnb (the service that lets people rent rooms out of their own houses) has had its share of horror stories. They’ve had orgies, pigsty conditions, con artists, and hidden cameras; but this time the result was loads of customer satisfaction.
March 15, 2019
Great accounts to follow: Furries Out of Context.
by Patch O'Furr
Announcement – until March 31, vote for the Ursa Major Awards to support the best works of furry fandom!
If you’re a talking animal on social media, Furry Twitter is the place to be. And if you aren’t on there yet, or if you’re new, it may seem like a perplexing jungle of stunning art, cute fursuits, drama, social commentary, memes, nature videos, hitting on corporate mascots, and crazy happenings with a huge fandom of friends who have fun like nobody else. Finding the good stuff could use a guide to bushwhack through the wilderness. Wouldn’t it be cool to get an article series about entertaining and well curated accounts?
February 12, 2019
“Furries make the internets go”: a Behind The Meme story with Durango Dingo and Summercat.
by Dogpatch Press Staff
Thanks to Summercat for starting this story about a long-lived and frequently-shared meme. He chatted with Durango Dingo, who is pictured in a suit from Fursuits By Lacy and Nick (Fursuiting.com.) This meme continues to spread from the heyday of Myspace to now, like when it was shared in 2018 by “Swift On Security”, a 263K follower mainstream Twitter account. (- Patch)
February 6, 2019
A furry’s guide to encounters with fleshies
by Patch O'Furr
Fleshies are everywhere. They’re sneaky yet prolific primates who trim their fur, mask their scents, and cover their body parts to hide the weird things they do when you’re not looking.
They come in various shapes and sizes, but often compete to see which kind is superior. They have elaborate rules that keep changing. It may be about the color of their disturbingly smooth hides, or what territory they inhabit. It often involves collecting piles of green stuff.
They’re an invasive species and parasites. Fleshies infest the shiny armored organisms that run on paths between their hives and loudly honk at each other. When their hosts stop at feeding-stations and sleeping-lots, you can see them swarm out.
November 28, 2018
Furry fandom “hide the yiff” alert system will create a clean image for the media
by Patch O'Furr
ThiccPup was relaxing at home when his phone began to bark a series of woofs that spelled HIDE YIFF in Morse code. Thanks to home defense preparation and training drills, he was ready for action. He buttoned a dress shirt over his “Fuck Bitches Get Scritches” t-shirt, while his bookshelf flipped around to switch his werewolf erotica with a selection of sports magazines. His bed sank into a recess in the floor and a new one flipped down from the wall, hiding his plushies, Paw Patrol sheets, Tsaiwolf daki, and the framed art of an anthropomorphic femboy husky blowing a blushy jock rottweiler. His Furry Fuel energy drink was safely stacked behind a jar of mayonnaise.
“I got nervous when my mom saw my lunch on the floor, but I told her I was just dogsitting. Close call!” said ThiccPup.
Being caught with adult content has dire consequences for some furries. In California, one was forced to tell their grandma what a tailplug was for. In Pittsburgh, a con security SWAT team was deployed for a pup play lobby incident, with orders to neuter on sight. The threat of public exposure has never been so high.
September 27, 2018
MAD Magazine and the “Lighter” (?) Side of Furries – guest post by Joe Strike
by Patch O'Furr
Here’s news from Joe Strike – you may have seen his recent piece for Flayrah about “stealth fur.” Joe’s Furry Nation book got a lot of love here. He seems to have a sequel in the works (not sure how much I’m supposed to say, but there may be a chapter from a certain dog’s paw!) Joe saw an article making fun of furs in MAD magazine, and sent this piece. With so much going on in the news, I think it’s a bit refreshing to get gentle joking. Honestly, I want outsiders to just laugh a little while we can be like this… (- Patch)
From graphic designer Chris Piascik (I don’t think he’s a furry… yet. The outfit got us right though.)
MAD Magazine and the “Lighter” (?) Side of Furries
By Joe Strike